Discovery

Poor Little Man is so impatient lately. So many things he wants to do, so hard to do them! He is almost at the point of crawling, rocking on his hands and knees, straightening out his legs underneath him and pushing forward as hard as he can only to belly flop. Wriggling and wiggling so that he goes round in a circle. Always moving, but never forward. So, so frustrating! Add to that the tooth that is through but won't really come in, or the strong desire to feed himself but not the manual dexterity to do it -- there are so many accomplishments a 6 month old desires but just does not have the skills yet to achieve. No wonder he gets angry!

Then there's me -- part of me would love him to get those teeth, move those legs, feed with that spoon -- and part of me is scared s***less about it. I suppose it's the dilemna of every mother. You want your child to achieve great things, but at the same time, you don't want them to grow up. I love my son at this age. Just a few months ago, he was nothing but a little warm doll in my arms, and now he squirms and squeals and laughs and loves with such eagerness. The way he discovers the world is just fascinating to watch. The slow study of everything from the cat's twitching tail to the trees in the wind to the menu at a restaraunt -- everything is wonderful and marvelous in the eyes of a 6 month old. I don't want him to lose that facination with the world, ever. I fear with the passing of time that he might.

I suppose as a scientist, the thrill of discovery is one of the things I prize most about life. In my spiritual life, I also find the journey to spiritual discovery in some ways even better than the discovery itself. I almost fear the passing of time because I don't want the discovery to end. I want to keep learning and not find that I have learned all there is to learn. Having that thrill in learning is one of the most important things I want for my son as well.

I know that discovering the world is something that is continuous and fascinating for years at a young age, and one of the best things about having a child is that you can rediscover the world through their eyes. Watching Little Man struggle to figure out how to get those knees working underneath him is incredible. Watching each step -- first figuring out how to lift his head, then his chest, then his belly, then get up on his knees, now his feet... the slow passing of each skill as it progresses to the next -- is awesome. Everything takes time, but soon he'll have figured it out, and then watch out, world! And watch out everything within arms reach...